The Bulgarian for ‘I Love You’, by Martina Mustafova

A meditation on death, loss and legacy, Martina Mustafova's The Bulgarian for ‘I Love You’ is an exquisitely nuanced essay that brings together the death of her father from Covid-19, and the birth of her first daughter.

What does it mean for those you love to outlive you, or to outlive those you love? Mustafova's masterful essay draws a thread between generations—a bond of kinship and love that does not negate death and grief, but that nevertheless redeems life, even in the face of our loss.

Extract

Yes, I want to stay forever, to never leave, to see and witness everything, to be an eternal source of love. But even more than this, when I think of the days after I’m gone, I don’t want my daughter to keep looking back in pain. I want her to feel alive. I want her to keep breathing in the wind, admiring how it rustles the leaves on the trees. I want her to keep smiling at birds as they fly past, basking in the warmth of a patch of sun. I want her to know that life goes on, wildly and beautifully, and that, like my own father, and his ancestors before him, my love for her will continue beyond my death.

Published as a Wind&Bones Digital Short. Download as a beautifully-designed PDF, with accompanying EPUB edition.

About the Author

Martina Mustafova (www.martinamustafova.com) is a writer and cultural consultant, exploring psychology, collective and ancestral memory, intergenerational patterns, and cultural identity. Her work examines the interplay between the inner life and collective histories, with a particular focus on the roots of racism and social violence. She also co-runs The Sky and Earth Know, a platform dedicated to Romani culture.